It can feel as if you’re going through a breakup but then you may feel ‘wrong’ for feeling this way as you may not believe that you have a legitimate reason.Every involvement, ambiguous or not, has your hopes and expectations tied up in it.
You discover that actually, you want intimacy and to know where you stand plus if you take care of you, you also discover that the sky doesn’t fall down if the person doesn’t want a relationship with you. Relationships, romantic and otherwise, rely on honesty and by stepping up for you and removing ambiguity, you’re actually making a healthy decision to value integrity, security, intimacy and of course, you. PS I am popping home to Dublin (Ireland) for a couple of days this week.
Finding myself single again at 41 years old was not fun. But, I have to be honest, there was an element of excitement to being single. I was getting away from a marriage that wasn’t making either one of us happy, and I was moving into the unknown.
Not only was I going through the pain of a divorce, mourning the failure of my marriage, dealing with my two young kids’ feelings about daddy moving out, and worrying about finances, but now I had to go back out there into the nightmare world of dating?! And the unknown was semi-attractive, in the sense that at least it wasn’t “the known” which was constant fighting, misery, fear, sadness and loneliness.
It’s ambiguous in part because they don’t want to risk asking the person and jeopardising the picture that they’ve painted in their mind.
It may also be about not wanting to risk the friendship but the problem is that the longer this ambiguity goes on for is the less of a friendship it is.